Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/BAD TOURIST, No. 16: "LULA!"

Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/BAD TOURIST, No. 16:  "Lula!"


LULA HOFFMAN, Turkish-Jewish, female Cabaret entertainer, from Hamburg (It's in Germany) busted into the HOTEL DAVE (€55 per nite/big screen TV) with "follower", Heinrich (Heinrich?) yesterday AT DAWN...
I was a bit put out because it was one of my scheduled weekdays with FI-FI and FI-FI; quick phone calls ensued? No problemo. FI-FI and FI-FI were, anyway, "on standby" at some place called MONELLAS LAP DANCE, just outside of Piacenza (Italy) and not adverse to making the extra bucks.

LULA arrived in a taxi. A second taxi pulled up behind bearing (follower) Heinrich and all Lula's luggage. Pretty soon the HOTEL DAVE (€65 per nite/big screen TV) reception, breakfast bar area and "convenient" CUCINA (kitchen thingy) was logged-jammed with Lula's portmanteaus, bags of "Duty-frees", and Las Vegas-carpet-suitcases. Heinrich, and his OWN "red cross parcel-accoutrement's" couldn't fit in. We packed him off to Reno's Hotel Commercial (€85 per nite/small TV) over on the via Chris Colombo: "Catch a bus and visit, tomorrow; happy-hour?"
"Dave? I VANT TO LIVE HOTEL DAVE!" sez Lula

Lula, incidentally (minus Heinrich) is the OPPOSITE of a transvestite. She's a fully developed blonde-bombshell, minimally tattooed,  who tries to control her ample bosoms with tight upper hosiery. Below? She's total INTEMISSINI, garter-B, fishnets, and ON STAGE - her Cabaret act? - she wear a large Carrot-thingy, dangling between her thighs, and sings "family favorites": Titles include: "SPARE THE ROD!" and "SORRY ABOUT DICK!?" -I met her "on tour" in Hanover (also in Germany) in 2003 and we've been friends ever since.

(...Wonder how long she's gonna stay?...)


c. 2014/davedelacroix/lord borgo/HOTEL DAVE/piacenza-Italia.