Our Man in Europe/davedelacroix/BAD TOURIST, No. 14: "BELL and CANDLE"..
(dedicato: Sylvia, Maria, Henrietta von Graz)
Countessa Rosella della Pesaro? GUESS WOT!? No receipe. Ambience is everything! BEATRICIA showed up at the HOTEL DAVE (€50 per nite/big screen TV/bring your own towel-sleeping bag?) Anyways? COUSIN "Wolfgang von Dusseldorf just opted and died and left me a WHOLE €50 as my inheritance which was "very nice" as it arrived in the post just before the end of the month when I'm usually, financially, "rive gauche". SO! €50! Beatricia - who hails from ZWAZILAND (she's a white, blonde-Gal, in fact?), I "splurged" on Italian sausage, Pork RIBS, veggies and an assortment of local wines which arrived in 75 cl. boxes with screw-on caps. ADD too the fact that I had Mc-SHEELTONS (blended) Whisky and several MORRETTI brewskies already, in the "Palazzo" (HOTEL DAVE/€55 per nite/bring your own WI-FI) -a "festa" (party) was inevitable!
SO. With JOE GREEN (Gueissepi Verdi) turned up FULL BLAST on the big screen TV-"jukebox" we "munched" on down on Italian sausage, bloody RIBS and gorged on vino!
Later? -both (Beatricia and me), both stripped quite naked, under the august-romanesque arches of the HOTEL DAVE'S "Benedictine Suite", we adorned matching Venetian Carnival masks and "candelarbra tiaras/6 candles a-piece, head-dress and danced like Sartyrs at a Bachanalia mosh-pit!
...Piccolini problemo? -the scalding hot candle wax from our "Candlebra-Tiaras" kept dripping on our shoulders, my beer gut, and collective buttocks? We repeatedly cried: "OUCH!" whilst gyrating?
Later, we discovered in a fruit bowl, a LARGE GREEN BELL PEPPER. Beatricia sliced it, then rubbed it on my shoulder, buns, beer gut? "AH! RELIEF!!", and being a Cavalier/Gentlemen, I returned her medicinal-ardent administrations...And, regarding such "agony and ecstacy", Countessa Rossella? -I hope this "sketch" is full of "Lifestyle" advice?
c 2014/davedelacroix/lord borgo/piacenza-Italy.
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