Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "The Last of the Dumbfucks!"

 Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "The Last of the Dumbfucks!"

 - (continuing my Fantasy/History themed TIME-TRAVEL blog posts from "The RE-Charge of the Light Brigade" & T-T No. 2: T-T Misgivings.)

"TIME TRAVEL No. 3: "The Last of The Dumbfucks."

...IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES; it was the worst of times. In the Colonies, late 1600s, Governor SPOTSWOOD made several expeditions into "darkest/territory unknown" of what is now known as Pennsylvania, a U.S.A. State renown for coal mines & George Thorogood ("I drink ALONE!!!) Roadhouse Rock & Roll, a State which is as oblong as Texas is wide.

Writer Fennimore-Cooper parked out his novel (The Last of the Mohicans) of this wild/untouched territory (British colonial era) where some Colonel got his TEST-TACKLES ATE by attacking MOHICANS; pre-PUNK ROCK "sans" electric-3-chord guitars, a precursor of the later British - The BEATLES - music invasion where-in (the Mohicans?) the locals too might have remained SEX PISTOLS "pretty vacant". Hard to say.

TIME-TRAVEL MISSIONS are "wearing" on a T-T Man. I'm thinking of asking for a pay-rise. Meantime, the T-T LORDS landed me HERE on this colonial/lyrical/frontier. We R talking C.I.A., K.G.B. MOSSAD, & M.I.5/as long as the CHINESE R kept in the dark in fear they initiate MASS T-T Travel & screw up World History... Still, my mission's purpose was quite illusive. T-T management never overload U with details full knowing, but never intimating, T-T isn't a day out with Simon & Garfunkel to Coney Island!

And YES! Pity Mio! What was I supposed to do? -Overloaded with music by THE CLASH never mind more than one ERA'S culturally ZONKED brain? And never mind the Mohicans, what about Governor SPOTSWOOD! Do I tell him about FACEBOOK, trips to DA MOON or Taylor Swift?...

I guess my T-T Masters got (Time-) wind of my confusion & "DUST DOWN-TIME-EXTRACTED" me, pulled me out my T-T dilemma which is supposed to eliminate/eradicate all memory of any Mission. Yet in anticipation of my Sinister T-T Masters, I hereby Post.

Anyhow. Water under the bridge I suppose. Nobody SCALPED ME!!!...My next T-T assignment? (I submitted my Pay Rise Application): "The Assassination of Julius Caesar!". The assassination of J.F.K. I guess, the "powers-that-be" were keeping buried for when all conspirators were either dead & gone or their descendants had squirreled the pay-off into banks on the Caymans? 

What do I care! I'm still waiting on my T-T Pay Rise approval application. And AS for Julius Caesar's demise. through this particular mission I would also meet - through this singular T-T mission - a Roman goddess, the only woman I ever loved. Her name was Cleopatra.

...U don't know the meaning of T-T heartbreak folks? But that's another story!

c.2026. Dave Delacroix.

Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "Time Travel, No. 2. /T-T misgivings."

 Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "Time Travel, No. 2./T-T misgivings."

(dedicato: Loic X.)

...IT WAS THE BEST OF BARS (Cafes) it was the worst of Bars, Fat YA-YA or Old Fat Magot who - long ago - captured Aristo-Beaus between their thighs might have given them a "dose" which they then passed on to their future wives. (Mandatory for the European Grand Tour.) My TEST-TACKLES on this occasion were quite safe.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. RAIN-RAIN-RAIN! -Paris-France in September, my government sponsored - TIME TRAVEL/undercover Dude/GIG - landed me in the1990s so I'd patioed myself in Montmartre at the CAFE RDV (Rendezvous) des Amis a-table with Mon frere Loic De X who I had actually met in "real time' decades before.

Time Travel enables U to encounter a myriad of living - or dead - folks. Most, U never heard of. But some R innate enemies, some instant friends! Some to fleece U? Some, to defend! Some R sharks of course. Some, just plain Losers. Your wallet, the shirt off your back? One eye on the angled mirror over the bar.

In Time Travel U R plunged into an emotional quagmire of regrets, hauntings, GHOSTS all shrouded in some spinal yesteryear. Past lovers? -who R barely above the grave with complexions (think cheese) like Rochefort/Stilton/Brie-gone-bad and a withered withdrawn demeanor for just who desires an ice cold ELGERA kiss, a maggot or 2 on her lower lip?

...And necrophilia not being your "bag", U justifiably attempt to FLEE in abject terror, singing: "One more "Vin de Table" before I go...Better make it a large one; One more "Vin de Table" before I go; to the valley below!" (Time Travel is not for the feeble in Spirit.) "Le plate du jour" maybe cheap but it isn't free.

Time Travel. Oh boy! Like a cyclonic spiral, better still, a labyrinth, of INNER REGRETS - dealing with the Past here - hardly ever lets U go. TIME IS A PRISM: Ghosts. Hauntings. Even moments of "Deja-vu" have U in its primordial coils. And your Time Travel Tourist Impressionist (painting) smile may work for a lost weekend in this - government sponsored T-T - investigation of a famous unsolved Murder? ...Here's hoping I get to realize my Government Pension plan.

...T-T communications at this "time", even though government sponsored, R akin to early telephone calls or basic radio transmissions. Pretty fragile. But I can - if this message gets to U - tell U that my NEXT T-T assignment is to Istanbul. Some master spy named Cicero: "The Five Fingers"! And after? Vienna, Austria to check out some hood named Harry Lime. And don't ask. The T-T bosses just send me where they send me. Just don't tell the Chinese! They'll mass produce T-T Tourism. (Holy moly!) And they MAY be watching the same "film noirs"!

c.2026. Dave Delacroix....For the FIRST TIME TRAVEL post on this Blog/scroll down & read the post: "The RE-CHARGE of the LIGHT BRIGADE"....I will be continuing the theme as the spirit moves.

Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "BIG BAMBU!"

 Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "BIG BAMBU!"

...I DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH but I drink ENOUGH on account I don't want the Booze to go bad. I don't CHAIN-SMOKE - unless I have to - all the time. I DON'T fall in love on a Dime, but when U only got Nickels? I post depressing Poems on Dave Delacroix @ Blogspot.com. "Our Man in Europe." I may as well be on planet-someplace for all the response the blog gets...Oddly, over a quarter of a Million: Lotta bored people out there? But YO! I'm not in love. Inter-planetary Internet PORN still light years away & the orgy of Youth long gone.

THESE DAYS I don't travel anywhere; been, done & seen that. Seen it all before. Temples, monuments, Parthenon, Panty-Thongs, I knew a cutie in Istanbul who turned out to be ABDUL! Like I say, long since I shoved "all my yesterdays" up Memories/Frank Zappa's "Grande Kazoo!" And these days I try not to whine in these Belizean balmy tropical evenings, so I've taken to whining at the crack of dawn - accompanied by our local jungle birds/cacophonic dawn chorus, and Java-coffee, Bloody Mary & Jesus chain smoking before the standard "petite déjeuner" of Whisky & Beer. It's become a ritual.

U can sing AT the Moon. U can bow down/pray to a Rock. Wooden Crosses R still in vogue/kneeling posture. Luckily, I'm Bi-Polar/ambidextrous/can't play tennis/prone to "attention deficit disorder", I know my A-B-C's, but I can never get past DAVE! Not to mention I was not TO the Manor born nor with a silver spoon. And I don't drink too much. I only keep an eye on the booze in case it goes bad. But, sadly, BIG BAMBU! -U never can escape your gloom. That Big Bambu. No matter where U roam. When it wraps its arms around U.

c.2026. Dave Delacroix.

Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "Oh Happy Day!"

 Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "Oh Happy Day!"

...WHEN JESUS WALKED, (When Jesus walked...) Where Jesus walked (Where Jesus walked...): O happy day! O happy day! O happy day.

When U 1st. KISSED - O happy day - the one U first loved? -O happy day. There were NO tomorrows, O happy day! U betch-a! O happy day, that day.

When Jesus walked - O happy day - U walked in his footsteps - O happy day - and when YOU first loved: O happy day. (Sing along:) "O happy Day. O happy day!" (Don't be shy:) "O HAPPY DAY!"

And still your LOVE is so True - O happy day - & the Kids R clothed & FED & all SAFE - O happy day -  ...and so let's ALL sing together? -Remember the words? Foot tapping is acceptable too:

"O Happy Day." (Let me HEAR U!) "O happy day." Oh yeah/U got it! "O happy day! O happy day." THIS IS your Day!... O... happy...day!... (U can all sit down now.)

c.2026. dave delacroix.

Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "The KAREN Song."

 Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "The KAREN Song."

...(singing/whining:) ...I GOT ISSUES WITH MY ISSUES, I gotta feeling...the World has done me wrong. I gotta FEEKING - peeking at me! - outside of WAR & PEACE; I got some heartfelt, serious ISSUES, U will never UNDERSTAND -don't get me wrong (?)... And when...

...And when I think/see U trespass on MY SOUL - I'm sensitive-sometimes? - I'll sure as hell give U "What for!!!", "WELL...Y-KNOW?" (Actor Christopher Walken-speak) Nobody gonna get away with that? I'll EVEN UP da score! -And on the Internet, I yell my song! (U can Man-Bun your long hair but U cannot hide!) My HARRADAN-harangue will strip it down.

I got ISSUES, left, right, sometimes Left too. I'll give U "what for!" -it's what I do! U got everything U need, but U don't know what U want, where-as I DO! I AM & always WILL BE your personal-societal nemesis & as any respectable KAREN in your neighborhood WE NEED to RANT, From Clochemerle/France or in downtown-N.Y.C.: And traditionally, in most neighborhoods there's always one or two KARENS who wrestle with their Blues, every ready for confrontation, in olden days, the Village Nag? (...Always that "U/Not ME" factor.) 

I got ISSUES. I got issues. A psychotic ALAMO which I must defend! Rain or shine. Shut your dammed KIDS up! My Feng-sui Gyro-all outta WAK! They play too near my garden!  And YOU!!! Fishing! Canoe-in down my back garden "personal" bayou. As FOR, and I just don't like the clothes U wear? SO, GET OFF MY CLOUD! Respect MY ISSUES! And no use whining. I'll out-whine U! COS that's what a classic KAREN will do.

c.2026. Dave Delacroix.

Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "All along the Lee Shore."

 Our Man in Europe/now Belize/Dave Delacroix: "All along the Lee Shore."

(dedicato: Gordon Westran/Sheffield/U.K. Bro.)

....ALL ALONG THE LEE SHORE, shipwrecks like U & Me lie half buried in the sand, all with a story to tell like some almost forgotten song old seafarers still hum: "OH-ANACREON (Greek Poet) we raise a glass to thee!" or "ADMIRAL LORD NELSON -we'll DRIVE HOME into the gates of HELL for thee!"

ANACREON in heaven? We raise a glass to thee!

Sometimes U feel like an old Sheffield Wednesday Football Club soccer ball. Not %100 inflated left over from a muddy field. 

Alas! And so it goes, beached as we R on this mind-set Skeleton Coast, an empiric-elephantine boneyard OF MEMORY left to be buried by Time's desert sands like a Saharan OZYMANDU monument for future generations to gape at and wonder. Nevertheless, a Lee Shore which no West-Wind-OH! Mariner ever expects. It comes as the Iron Duke of WATERLOO fame now faded into obscurity.

ANACREON in heaven? We raise a glass to thee! Anacreon, U bawdy hack? We sing U into eternity. (UP THE OWLS!!!)

c.2026. Dave Delacroix/David Michael Oxley.

Our Man in Europe, now Belize, Dave Delacroix: "Saturday, in the Park."

 Our Man in Europe, now Belize, Dave Delacroix: "Saturday, in the Park." (Après song by 60s band Chicago/their Chicago V LP)

"Saturday, in the Park." 

...I GET VERTIGO IN THE VERTIGO inside my mind. I WEEP but never cry; certifiable? Probably. I should have been RE-HOUSED from Soullessness long ago.

I get drunk before I'm drunk, a sensitivity of Soul. I write poems about the "only woman I ever loved" long before we meet. (Weird.)

It's so hard to be a sex-symbol when nobody knows. My fashionista tailor is the local Thrift store. Oh boy! Do I shine? -Plaid on Plaid!

I invented the "French-Dip Soup". Forgot to Copyright. Get no royalties. Same THING: Russian TEA/Tea without milk. Culinary History passed me over.

And it's difficult to be "the leader of the Pack" when U hate crowds, like a Politician, Poet or a Freedom Fighter who hates People? The funeral pyre of peoples Autograph Books.

Still. Saturday, in the park, I thought it was the 4th. of July. And there I sat upon the grass, a "Nowhere Man", O.K.-ing -it's O.K. to ask Why...

c.2026. Dave Delacroix.