Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/the Naked Planet, No. 6: WANDA (Missippi Queen)

Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/the Naked Planet, No. 6:  WANDA (Mississippi Queen)

WANDA comes  from Hamburg, Germany.  Both BLIND BILL (Texan Poet)  and I wrote a song about her "back in the day". We decided? -Call it: WANDA. It was, aesthetically, a tad off the tracks but both Blind-Bill and I gave it the "thumbs UP", which is unusual? - GOES like this:

"WANDA"

"Wanda, Wanda, Wanda
Do U ever WANDA?
Wanda, wanda, wanda
Is it day or is it night?
Wanda, wanda, wanda
Do U ever WANDA?
NICE DINNER!
Wanda, wanda, wanda
I'll be late:
Don't wait up!?"

...WANDA was on my Case - in Germany - to ship her out to NASHVILLE or LOS ANGELES... Money being tight, we got her as far as San Antonio, Texas,  where she encountered the usual TEX-MEX-suspects, but Blind-Bill, from his "base-camp"/Airstream Trailer parked - someplace - near EL PASO - came to the rescue like I knew he would... Now? WANDA? -She hosts some CAJUN Cabaret down in the Mississippi delta, half a yodel from New Orleans. I heard she's changed? -Gone North, artistically. Gone SOUTH! -a'la Savant... Who's to say? She BITCH-SLAPS over-weight Bikers in the bar, I hear, and plays electric-Ukulele/sings TOO, like a Summer's rain; short, fresh, and wishing there was more.

As always? She's tall, blond, lithe; subject to hair-dye exotica; a penchant: for Boas and feathered costumes?
DEM Creole kids treat her like ISIS. She packs the bars, Fridays, Saturday nites!

Her name is WANDA, and I'd tell ya a whole lot more?
 -but she,
righteously,
deserving THIS boys respect?
-is now... a Mississippi Queen.


c 2014/dave delacroix/lord borgo/Milano-Italia.

Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/the Naked Planet, No.4: "The good Woman of Sechuzan."

Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix//the Naked Planet, No. 4:  "The Good Woman of Sechuzan."

(apres, Bertolt Brecht, and read by Peter Lorre)

...Anna is from China. Operates a Barbershop, via Taverna, across from Piacenza's  General Hospital. (It's real close to the HOTEL DAVE)
Anna, a confident-buxom gal, who, I since discovered was the ANCHOR in some All-gal, Chinese wrestling Team; and - I hear? - took the Silver Medallion, in Kyoto, by storm?
"Sit on the chair!" -in Italian. I am instructed, simultaneously, trying to curry favor by "mouthing" "MEEE-HOW!?"  -whilst being cloaked in Surgical blankets and relentlessly sprayed with perfumed-aqua products?
THIS, is a critical moment. Actually? -I need to explain my hair-cut-fashion-VISION; but, no dice. I'm sat in the Barber chair, SHE (Anna) smiles, sardonically (U ever SEE an Asian person Sardonic?), then she douses my "Gen. Armstrong Custer"-wavy locks with yet another layer of Aqua?
...The following belongs in a Freddy Fellini movie.
So as not to interrupt - and, remember, folks? - I only wanted a "casual MULLET", Anna  - out of the blue - BICEPS my old neck in an ARM-LOCK, which in Wrestling "parlance" is called a "Full Nelson" (?) so that I was shorn at a 45 degree angle from the Barber chair, one leg extended in the air, both arms flay ling like uninhibited chicken wings still exhibiting nervous tension, all combined, expressing STARK fear thru my one good eye?.
After 20 minutes, pretty much SHORN like a New Zealand lamb before "termination rites", Anna's  ARM-LOCK is released and I can now rest on both buttocks on the Barber's chair; additionally, my ARMS, correspond in this un-hoped for tranquility, and quit flay ling?
...Arizona tumbleweeds  (this is all about a haircut) never had it so good. Anna, like a U.S. Interstate highway, ignores this, then switches to SHANGHAI-LIL, Miss Sublime...and as flighty and as gentle as a BOLSHOI VIRGIN, dances quick, fastidious, in a delightful "pas de deux" of scissors and comb, around, and around my head she goes?
For €10/30 minutes, TOPS! -Anna parked my ass back on the via Taverna looking, and feeling, like a Million Bucks!
I do believe I will see "the good woman of Sechuzan" again...


c 2014/davedelacroix/lord borgo/piacenza-Italy

Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/THE NAKED PLANET, No. 2: The Third Man.

Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/THE NAKED PLANET, No. 2:  The Third Man.


It was blistering cold in BETHLEHEM. A clear cold sky. Some frickin' COMET, hovering up above? -The MOTEL 6/HOWARD-JOHNSON (hotel) was "jammus-packus", which is LATIN for "Frick off and die Young!"... We found a CRIB, a stable. Had to bunk with some Shepherds and their livestock. The house belonged to some Jewish guy named MO. He had a silver beard and no sense of humor. The rest? -It goes like this:

I was in VIENNA, all alone. NO money. HARRY LIME wasn't there to meet me at the Hauptbahnhof (station-thingy), nether was Rock-star, Michael Jackson, and MICK JAGGER was conspicuously absent...
Absolving MICK, the former were both - unaccountably - quite DEAD.
(Where was I?)
VIENNA. Odd sort of town. 200 years ago? -the Los Angeles of its Day, though worried about NAPOLEON BONAPARTE, whether "I-PHONES" would actually, someday, take off, and just WHO was THE THIRD MAN?

Frankincense, Gold and Mer: THE MAGI. Their names are lost to History; so we name them. They rode - I guess? - on executive Camels and followed that hovering COMET...which wasn't difficult, as it hovered.

VIENNA? -I was coming to that. When JESUS CHRISTOS was formally crucified, plus, terribly tortured: like in the MOVIES, and then re-discovered OUTSIDE of his TOMB, his followers (Mary Magdalen, etc.) immediately went NUTS: "WHO was the THIRD MAN!!!!?"

Back to VIENNA (Adolf Hitler's playground), the question - on the face of it? - is quite simple:

(From Carol Reed/Graham Greene's old movie: The Third Man:)

HOLLY: "Mah pal HARRY (Lime) died here!?" -gesturing to the strada.
CONCIERGE: "Ja, mein herr. Herr Winkle (and the OTHER fat guy) carried his BOD 'cross da street!"
HOLLY: "TWO fucks!?"
CONCIERGE: "NEIN! NO! THREE FUCKS!"
HOLLY: "There was a THIRD FUCK!?"
CONCIERGE: "JA!... The Father... The Son... And the Holy Ghost."


......There are SEVEN billion stories on the NAKED PLANET. This has been one of them.


c 2014/davedelacroix/lord borgo/piacenza-Itala.

Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/The Naked Planet, No. 1: Lassoo Larry and Francine from France.

Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/The Naked Planet, No. 1:  Lassoo-Larry and Francine from France.


There are SEVEN BILLION stories (2014) on the NAKED PLANET.

Tough days for Kids trying to make it in this indifferent world where Families barely coherse, jobs are transient, a world running out of OIL, "Prohibition" on Tobacco - in SOME backward countries - and Spin-Doctor-Governments; last thing on their minds: "Doing good for the PEOPLE"?
A man, a woman, a boy and a girl? -Lord knows; if  it's hit or miss? -But if U don't PLAY, the "pick-up-truck or old Sedan will NEVER run.. and rust never sleeps.

Lassoo-Larry, "Low-Ranger" on the RODEO circuit-totem pole, finished the Winnipeg Rodeo event on his back with three broken ribs and metal pins in his knee joints. Inter-acting with a long-horn steer - who was having a particularly bad day - Lassoo-Larry bucked and bronco-ed till - almost - the cows came home. The Rodeo crowd swore it was the best thing they ever saw; even Old Timers "gave it a chew"?...  The good folks at the Rodeo "took care of their own". The HAT was passed; Lassoo-Larry's AMBULANCE was Police-escorted to Winnipeg ST. ELSEWHERE hospital, no expense spared, the Kid would be alright, but his Rodeo days were over.

Francine (from France), with distant relatives in Montreal (Canada), got the hell out of Dijon (It's in France) for some other kind of life. With a Nurse's training, employment was low-paid but consistent. -Passed Quebec. -In turned at Winnipeg's ST. ELSEWHERE hospital, and at the end of the annual Grand Rodeo she was called upon to assist the latest rodeo casualty, Lassoo-Larry.
They fell in love.

FIFTEEN years then passed 'em by. They got married. People like Lassoo-Larry don't BUY a house, they BUILD one; twix that and a gig tossing auto-transmissions around at the local gas station, like old chicken bones: "the best years of our lives"; holidays by Grand Canyon, holidays down in the Argentine? A different kind of Rodeo; Lassoo-Larry (and Francine) in ELYSIUM, loved life and prevailed.

Francine, alas, succumbed to Breast cancer, suffered greatly, but eventually passed, peacefully  away leaving Lassoo-Larry with two fine sons, WACO and ARMAND who are now both major players in the Rodeo business of both North and South America.
Lassoo-Larry? -I ran into WACO at the Phoenix-Arizona Sky-port. He relayed: "PA? He's pretty quiet, Dave, these days. And always busy around the ranch... AND; ya' know? -But he's always got that DAMN SMILE on his old scrawny face?..."

There are seven billion stories on the NAKED PLANET. This has been one of them.


c 2014/davedelacroix/piacenza-Italy.

Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/the IDES of March, No. 7: AURORA!

Our Man in Europe/davedelacroix/the IDES of March, No. 7:  AURORA!


WE are not interested. If U need to call me? -DON'T. We are not - really - interested. Ask my TAILOR. He gave up cutting Cloth; said: "Frick it!" -Figured life was better in SHANGHAI, then buzzed off and went hitch-hiking in that general direction (East): A legacy of un-paid bar-tabs trace him as far as TEHRAN.

WE are not interested. I should know. Ask my Accountant, how do U spell B.A.N.K.R.U.P.T. east of the Mississippi and hold heads up high, buying milk and bread in Dawn's bakery?
OUR daily bread will always BE, and tomorrow's acclaim? -Let the peanuts fly!

WE are SO not interested in that house on the hill or that conscious BLANK we, by living, all distill. It is easy to GUESS what beguiles Men's minds, or twisting in solitude at the cross-roads of Hell? YOU feign indifference like there's no-one U can tell?
Such thoughts fill. And, for Chris sakes, don't SHY; less the cool of the evening, pass you by.


c 2014/dave delacroix/lord borgo/piacenza-Italia...:)

Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/the IDES of March, No. 6: " Drink on thru till the Other side..."

Our Man in Europe/davedelacroix/the IDES of March, No. 6:  "Drink on thru till the Other side..."


Little Miss Mary - quite contrary - was skipping in her pink dress down thru the primrose garden on a sunny, Sunday, afternoon. The BIG BAD WOLF who had-had not a shave in 3 days/with NO dental plan happened upon the same primrose garden on account that he had  stashed a fifth of JACK DANIELS, there-in...
"Oh! Big bad Wolf!" -cried Mary.
"NO! -Lady!!" -responded ZE Wolf (in rectangular olde English); "Try to RELAX. YOU? -You are the frickin' Gal!"
"I am Mary...in the Pink dress."
"You-betcha!" -replied "Wolfy". "you're the god-damn reason the Town got respectable; no Bar service, any more, and NO SMOKING actually in Pubs and Taverns and Bars!!!" -and he added, "Salad is a dish served COLD."
"Don't you mean, "revenge"? suggested little Mary.
Wolfy replied: "YUP!"

And Mary was EATEN.


c 2014/davedelacroix/lord borgo/Springtime in Italia...:)

OUR MAN in EUROPE/dave delacroix/the IDES of March, No. 5: "My evil twin..."

Our Man in Europe/davedelacroix/the IDES of March, No. 5:  "My evil twin..."


Who's dat man who hides BOOZE
in house corners,
or puts his last $20
in a place ya can't find?
And when it comes to WORK;
"A'mah working already!" he says.
It's true and SO un-true
of My Evil Twin.

Just where was he
when, Me, juggling the books?
And do NOT be surprised;
he'll give you that look?
A "dependable Joe"
on a permanent "Go-Slow!"
The whistle and the hum
of My Evil Twin.

But when you're STUCK
for a ride
or when you almost DIED?
-dat "son-of-a-gun".
wearing no tie-- He'll
save you from drowning,
SINGLE-HANDED,
pull the kids from the fire:
Don't SHOOT him right now;
My Evil Twin.

Who's dat "Xò%!!!" asleep
in the back yard?
Where's dat OAF!?
-why doesn't he need ME?
Like the "fool on the hill"
-don't let me catch you YAWNING!
Not lonesome, like me;
My Evil Twin...


c 2014/davedelacroix/lord borgo/piacenza-Italia.