Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/Menu for Murder/Murder a'la Carte (Congestion: 21 thru 26)
21) SPAGOES: Medium Rare.
"She walks in splendour like the night.." And she DID until JO-JO - with a Chain-saw - cut her frickin' head off/could'a been a 12 bore shotgun or a Howitzer tank!? Every which way but lose, her head and other spare parts were posted as a displaced personality; the cops-in-bags, LAPD D-tects, after a "cursory glance - da smell was awesome! - and the bloodied-mangled mess was enough to establish her IDENTITY as she - da VIC - LUNA SPECTACULAR, was fond of "stabilo-ing" (thick marker-felt pen) her name on all her "undies" (Bra and G-string). And the WORD from her filthy rich pappy was: "BRING ME THE HEAD of LUNA SPECTACULAR!" (Shining Moon)
...All the "regular" D-tects got on the trail thinking it was a SAM PECKINPAH movie roundup! Mexico was hit first. Then Brazil (Even SERGIO MENDES was interviewed/he pointed to his in-house carpenter HARRISON FORD, a then, unknown actor, wearing a tool-belt?) -NO DICE. -which is when "D & D" (Private DICK -missing LUNA'S are our speciality/the tide is never out, etc. INC.) was put on the case.
Again, it was a NO-BRAINER albeit a head without one. D & D went directly to SPAGOS (L.A. fashionista restaurant), ordered a "Gibson" (cocktail thingy) then loudly sang: "Hello darkness my old friend"/SOUNDS OF SILENCE, by Paul Simon and the other guy. And - wonder of wonders? - LUNA S. immediately popped out of the woodwork/high-end plastic decor and STARTED HARMONIZING!
-The "Kill-sex-flick" porn industry (in the San Fernando Valley) never took so serious a blow. (Figure? -"Whilst JACKING OFF, this gal is NOT really dead!? What's going on???)?... From then on they had to start using NON-IDENTITY rubber dolls with NO autographed underwear and the OLD MAN (Luna's pappy) gave D & D $10,000 for his trouble.
OH! Re. SPAGOES? (Hor d'heuves ain't bad) But in reference to that institution of culinary magesty and the haunt of movie stars, (LUNA and D & D went to Corneile - University - together/probably had sex) so he knew just how to find her and make her break her cover. Again: A No-brainer! Heads are heads but BRAINS?
They mostly come Medium Rare.
22) The TACO Belle
MARY-JANE (Marijuana) came from South of the Border, smuggled into Texas by a "Coyote" who stripped her of all her dignity and left her - semi-demoralized - on I-10 (Interstate highway) either side of the town of Fort Jackson where, incidentally, Tarantula spiders and Scorpions warm themselves in the dawn desert sun.
She was young and quite alone.
20 years later "MARIA" (abridged her handle?) owns the BURRITO EXPRESS outside of San Antonio; a thriving Rock & Roll diner biz patronized by locals, L.A. fashion folks, truckers, kickers and the classic Cowboy Angels. Also, it's location is lonesome but the food is on "par excellence" and it's a West Texas landmark with a convenient nearby airstrip for CELEBS from L.A. or Las Vegas.
Anyhow; D & D was called in. Apparently Maria's God-child had gone missing by Tijuana, across the border? And at this time 200 (TWO frickin' HUNDRED!) young girls had gone missing/murdered/a schoolgirl massacre!!!
Naturally, Maria was MORE than anxious. The (Mexican) "Federales" didn't seem too concerned. The Texas Rangers couldn't do crap. And the FBI? -"Not our jurisdiction."?
D & D located the kid. She was THIS SIDE OF DEJA VU (a murder vic's last thoughts) and he extricated -' grand-kids...
Still; not the worse - if that expression is remotely possible? - for wear (TOUGH TERRAIN here, people!) and with SOME "boogaloo" and a flashy Pontiac (auto) across the TEX-MEX border the family were re-united and the rest is a Willy Nelson song: A TACO BELLE.
Finally, after 8,000 DOS EQUIS (beers) mucho feasting and dance, the next day, D & D took a pew in the BURRITO-EXPRESS, ordered coffee, black-no sugar, heaved a significant sigh, then chowed on down on a platter of RED HOT CHILLI beans, tortillas and rice and galloshes of MESCALE.
Needless to say? -he didn't worry 'bout the tab.
c 2014/davedelacroix/lord borgo/Bar Vespa-Piacenza.
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