OUR MAN in EUROPE, now BELIZE, Dave Delacroix: "Space Cadet."

 Our Man in Europe, now Belize, Dave Delacroix: "Space Cadet."

...SO I MARRIED A SPACE CADET.  U DON'T wanna know. So I jumped off the Empire State building, TRIED to flap my arms/hands/fingers before I SPLURGED, serious headache on the sidewalk concrete 50 floors down.

Concerned Citizens not un-used to NEW YORK CITY'S banking fortune's taciturn dynamics nevertheless GROUPED-Cell phones filming-waving, Toreadors-witness to a dying Matador? All suicides have a sense of "majestic", a finger to the World?

I gurgled blood: "Tell that bitch we R outta milk & we need another 6-pack of OLD MILWAUKIE- RED!" A sigh from the surrounding Manhattan Champagne set.

Yet, these Citizens, mystified, leaned FWD. I gurgled some more blood, so I outlined, gave them my blood type, appendix scar situ & to donate my penis-foreskin to some BUM down in the Bowery. It worked for me, maybe it'll work for him?

Meanwhile, still gurgling blood, the ambulance arrived (stretcher bearers pissed/supposed to be Off-Shift?) & TWO COP WAGONS-uniformed Barney Fifes dressed ready to invade Poland/this was in "Hell's Kitchen" near the Beirut Cafe?

"Hands on your heads-NIGGERS!" (...In my body-Splurge, mud & dirt from what I could SEE...everyone, the Cellphone Toreadors WERE WHITE but - fashionistas - wearing uniform Blue-Beat trilby hats & RAYBAN sunglasses) A WHITE COP'S honest mistake?

COPS: "His he..."

MIO; (gurgling blood) "Are you guys' GERMAN!?"

Swift kick to my head. (Irish Cops.)

...They cleared the crowd, cellphone/Utube parasites as "I", ambulanced on my own personal-valet stretcher was conveyed to the nearest hospital CASUALTY WARD. That Hotel California for America's Un-insured.

...MONTHS LATER: "The Man who jumped off the Empire State Building & LIVED", CELEBRITY CITY, on Talk Shows in my wheelchair, "Why'd U do it?" "I married a Space Cadet. She drove me nuts?", "How do U now FEEL?", "It's so hard to BE a Paraleiptic-wheelchair Sex Symbol; it's-what I always tell my fans?"

MEDIA: "But...So how do U FEEL?"

MIO: "Dunno Bro. Some bastard hearing my last Will & Testament, I was delirious!"

MEDIA: "U donated something in your final altruistic 'breath?"

MIO: "Yup! My foreskin has gone! WOTCHAGONNA-DO!?"

MEDIA: "WE FEEL your pain & hope U get Closure!"

c. Dabe Delacroix, beware the Ides of March 2026.