OUR MAN in EUROPE: dave delacroix: part 46: Portraits from a Smokey Room (5 Easy Pieces!)

Part 46:  Portraits from a Smokey Room (5 Easy Pieces!)


(1)...There`s Lazarus, of course, slouched, sleeping on a bar table, who even JESUS couldn`t stir....maybe an old, ex-hippie-gone-bad, unkempt-white boy, rasta hair, wearing rags, ever accompanied by the - by now retired - Duluxe Paints, English sheep dog.
(It`s hard to tell which of the two, the dog or its comatose owner has the "blues" the most...? -one (the dog), is desperately in need of a "pint", the other - when actually stirring - pants like an asthmatic with all the comcorant dribbling and evident sense (or lack) of bewilderment....!

...Back to the dog; the critter is ever happy to see the bar "madchen" show up with fresh Ganter pilsner, whilst Lazarus, his head momentarily uplifted, in the forlorn hope of a "freebie", re-contacts with the oaken bar table...THUD-like.

(2)...Then there`s Traudel (TrowDEE, to her pals), reasonably pretty...though reasonably buxom...with the "incendiary" laugh:
...
...
...
Fill in the blanks, folks: Trippin` Trowdee; cos``if I can ever get this gal to do "Stand-Up" in Las Vegas....? -we`d make a fortune!...
Her kharma is infectious, so much so that she has a bar "smoking room" cluttered with about 30 people all belly (ache) jack-knife-splitting their sides with complete "Ebola" contagion...except when SHE stops, then the laughter subsides and peeters out...leaving everyone else wondering just what was soooo funny!?
The joke?
The punchline?
Did I commit a feaux-pas?
My fly, closed!?
Or,
am I an idiot?
(the latter is a yes/no question)

....Then she starts/erupts, AGAIN!
(repeat previous scenario)

Lazarus, naturally, is oblivious even to this!

 (3)...There´s always Chess, domino, backgammon or Schlöck (dice with a leather cup) players.... (like watching Cricket or Baseball, leastways the board games)... exercising a mathmatical mental banality who exude minimum personality/ a complete lack of social graces/ take forever to drink ONE pint/could meet Singapore Sal and NEVER get a "hand job"...yet if they DID (have any sense of, er...Genius?) they`d be capable of accomplishing the greatest feats of Computer Fraud/white collar crime...worthy of Bernie Madoff...where upon they could invite ME into their gang and we`d all be living down in Rio de Janeiro (Jane`s River), giving the Capitol One/Bank of America Credit Card ("What`s in YOUR wallet?") -the FINGER!
(This fantasy could go on:)...drinking Maitaiss, Cuba Libres, Dom-whats-his-name? and chowing down on a delicious array of bottom feeders/tapas!

OK. Nuff said.

.....Authors note: More Portraits to come but I find myself in dire need of a morning`s libation: this part/chapter....to be continued/watch this space!...:)

c 2011. our man in europe/dave delacroix/late march/Mönchen-Gladbach/Germany