OUR MAN in EUROPE: dave delacroix: part 47: "Thank you... for Smoking!"

Part 47:   "Thank you...for Smoking!"


In search of a Bloody Mary... in Germany, specifically....to my beloved Amigoes in the "New World" (that would be the USA)....can I suggest an intelligent investment in CARTONS of Tomato Juice (from any reasonably sized Euro-supermarket), prior to embarking on an A.M. pub crawl... as the average - certainly, German - bars don`t include it in their inventory (don`t carry it!)

VODKA!
There`s that.

Worcestershire (WUSTER) sauce;
"Viel glück!"

Maybe TOBASCO!?
Dream on!
(Bring it!)

Black pepper/a stick of Celery/the white of an Egg...?
You MIGHT "luck-out!"

...Oh?... And early morning?

Try NOT to look like a Wreck!
(the locals - sadly - can be alcho-patron picky!....?)

...And PURLEEZE...check your "handguns" at the door...as getting KICKED TO DEATH by TEN Mönchen-Gladbach SOCCER fans...

...often offends.

.....but.....(butt?)....ending on a HIGH note, you can (happily) SMOKE yourself to death... in just about every bar you (meet) frequent;

Ditto: "Thank you... FOR smoking!"

THAT, my friends, is a "given"........:)


c 2011/our man in europe/cafe berlin/M-Gladbach/bartenders: Christian (mornings)/Arnac, from Turkey: afternoons/germany

OUR MAN in EUROPE: dave delacroix: part 46: Portraits from a Smokey Room (5 Easy Pieces!)....3rd/last part (ahem!)

Part 46:   Portraits from a Smokey Room (5 Easy Pieces!) 3rd/last part; hum.


(5)....to repeat: Lastly, and perhaps, sadly, in this portraiture of sketches, or FIVE EASY PIECES, there`s the unfortunate (?) Lovers....!
HE`s an idiot (AC/DC as opposed to, er...Beethoven... And he IS Deutsche!)
SHE? Stocky, now, though once a blonde belle du jour, perpetually munching on SOMETHING between weight-watchers (sic) Radler Pilsner.
He too, is a grazer. The house special.
Both vacantly staring at the big screen Soccer T.V., fully loaded with beer commercials, their (?) working world, drained of interest, any dynamic...or promise; the "dull" of a German winter...

...No better than my own situ... Bar closing; a winter`s frigid dawn, still 3 hours away, wondering if I can possibly catch - drunk - a provincial bus to some outlying no-where`s-ville, "kleine stadt", my tenure there, un-sure, and where I have absolutely NO future!

Still; the accoustically perfect wet cobbled streets beckon my muse, so, in such deserted surrounds?... I sit may ass down, break out the guitar...and sing to NO-ONE (for absolutely NO money) that ol`time Country & Western favourite: "ALL MY X`s DRIVE A LEXUS!.:. LEXUS IS THE - frickin` - CAR I WANT TO DRIVE!".....

c 2011/dave delacroix/our man in europe/looking to move to Crete/SOON!!!!!....:)

OUR MAN in EUROPE: dave delacroix: part 46: Portraits from a Smokey Room....(5 Easy Pieces!) Continued....!

Part 46:   Portraits from a Smokey Room.... (5 Easy Pieces!) continued, "apres ski schlanger!"....sorta-kind`a.

(4)...Rasputin, suitably tardy-street chic, aging, and who now sits, uninvited, across the table from me...like a behemoth (spell?) anaconda, uncomfortably coiled...yet in every way...poised to crush or swallow me whole.

Pity...he doesnt know me.

At some point...his reptilian nature comprehends that he may have met his match, and will, for the next tiresome 15 minutes, regale me with stories about the Achilles heel of everyone in this bar, within or outside, of earshot.

"HE (pointing to some Acqualung-Jethro Tull type) was the WORST drunk!"
-adding; "Now clean."

"SHE (some blonde faded Violet) has done EVERYBODY!..."

"THAT guy`s kid killed himself."

"The idiot he`s sitting with is a FAGGOT....but doesn`t know it!...?"

"SHE (some other banshee, sitting nearby) is a TWICE failed suicide!... A complete idiot!"

Then after a lengthy pause: "So what`s your passion?"  (Poison?)

It may be mentioned that this Rasputin (the dope dealer) had infact previously "laid on me", and quite unsolicited, a decent size chunk of "Mary-Jane"...in its Arabic form: hashish. And having passed out "free samples" (like any good salesman)  was looking to reap his seedling`s harvest...but NOT being a "stoner" - I always give it to pals - ergo, HE (Rasputin), was on, er...stoney ground.

(he was) A moustachioed, sporting fella, despite his aura of faded grandeur (cough-cough!) but he, nevertheless, did resort to trying to entice me into drinking buckets of bad Tequila (a last ditch-minute business plan?) whereby I would (get stoned?...and...) enter into his corporate Dope commerce.

lol....Further promises of a Crash Pad (for later/I`m presently homeless), loads of free beer...and the possibility of - showing up - a couple of loose broads...alas for HIM...fail to sway me from my - "I don`t give a shit!" - determined course.

I might add... that like a Hollywood "Talent" Agent...he also HAS/D a talent for looking perpetually disturbed/in need of a (No.2) bathroom break!

...&...To complete this evil, sad-saps portrait?... He may as well as move on to a St. Petersburg`s Czar Nicholas & Alexandria social scenario/and get righteously MURDERED...for choking unabashedly on my beer - in mirth - he can make positively NO headway...with Delacroix!

(5)...Lastly, and sadly, in this "smokey gallery" of living-twilight portraits, there`s the unfortunate Lovers: He`s an idiot (AC/DC as opposed to, er...Beethoven`s whatever)....

Authors note: yet again...I must consult my hand written notes....as after my late morning libations, my good friend Jutta & I have plans for at least 2 more bottles of CHATEAU HAPPY & feel it unworthy of ME and DIS-HONORABLE to my fans to presently continue without further study of said handwritten notes: ergo:

c 2011. our man in europe/dave delacroix/Mönchen-Gladbach/march/somewhere in Germany

OUR MAN in EUROPE: dave delacroix: part 46: Portraits from a Smokey Room (5 Easy Pieces!)

Part 46:  Portraits from a Smokey Room (5 Easy Pieces!)


(1)...There`s Lazarus, of course, slouched, sleeping on a bar table, who even JESUS couldn`t stir....maybe an old, ex-hippie-gone-bad, unkempt-white boy, rasta hair, wearing rags, ever accompanied by the - by now retired - Duluxe Paints, English sheep dog.
(It`s hard to tell which of the two, the dog or its comatose owner has the "blues" the most...? -one (the dog), is desperately in need of a "pint", the other - when actually stirring - pants like an asthmatic with all the comcorant dribbling and evident sense (or lack) of bewilderment....!

...Back to the dog; the critter is ever happy to see the bar "madchen" show up with fresh Ganter pilsner, whilst Lazarus, his head momentarily uplifted, in the forlorn hope of a "freebie", re-contacts with the oaken bar table...THUD-like.

(2)...Then there`s Traudel (TrowDEE, to her pals), reasonably pretty...though reasonably buxom...with the "incendiary" laugh:
...
...
...
Fill in the blanks, folks: Trippin` Trowdee; cos``if I can ever get this gal to do "Stand-Up" in Las Vegas....? -we`d make a fortune!...
Her kharma is infectious, so much so that she has a bar "smoking room" cluttered with about 30 people all belly (ache) jack-knife-splitting their sides with complete "Ebola" contagion...except when SHE stops, then the laughter subsides and peeters out...leaving everyone else wondering just what was soooo funny!?
The joke?
The punchline?
Did I commit a feaux-pas?
My fly, closed!?
Or,
am I an idiot?
(the latter is a yes/no question)

....Then she starts/erupts, AGAIN!
(repeat previous scenario)

Lazarus, naturally, is oblivious even to this!

 (3)...There´s always Chess, domino, backgammon or Schlöck (dice with a leather cup) players.... (like watching Cricket or Baseball, leastways the board games)... exercising a mathmatical mental banality who exude minimum personality/ a complete lack of social graces/ take forever to drink ONE pint/could meet Singapore Sal and NEVER get a "hand job"...yet if they DID (have any sense of, er...Genius?) they`d be capable of accomplishing the greatest feats of Computer Fraud/white collar crime...worthy of Bernie Madoff...where upon they could invite ME into their gang and we`d all be living down in Rio de Janeiro (Jane`s River), giving the Capitol One/Bank of America Credit Card ("What`s in YOUR wallet?") -the FINGER!
(This fantasy could go on:)...drinking Maitaiss, Cuba Libres, Dom-whats-his-name? and chowing down on a delicious array of bottom feeders/tapas!

OK. Nuff said.

.....Authors note: More Portraits to come but I find myself in dire need of a morning`s libation: this part/chapter....to be continued/watch this space!...:)

c 2011. our man in europe/dave delacroix/late march/Mönchen-Gladbach/Germany

OUR MAN in EUROPE: dave delacroix: part 45: Eine Gitarre für Ava

Part 45:   Eine Gitarre für Ava


She stoops, like most privleged daughters; stark beauty, tall, confident, with blonde hair, kosher fashion bordering on street-chic...and with darting eyes, acquiline nose, questioning - always intelligent - embellished charm...TO CONQUOR!

In past lives (and here: lol) she was probably Boudicca, Cleopatra, leastways Livia (wife of Augustus) or Nancy Reagan in embryo.
She, at the drop of a hat, will one day rule this crazy world, if not the proverbial "hood". It's a given. And no-one will quite know her, but nevertheless, her contemporaries, left resigned, sighing; a trail of affected, unsucessful beaus!

Newscaster?
The blonde weather lady?
Our Gal in Shanghai: CNN?
Model?
The Hollywood IT girl?
Paris? BEWARE!
...She butterflys....!

And presently, being friends of her "alters", I find myself her "guitar tutor", albeit, I have time & the inclination to show this "junger" a few choice 6 string chords.

YAY! CHORDS! (lol)

22 & eyes of blue......:)

c 2012/our man in europe/dave delacroix/germany

OUR MAN in EUROPE: dave delacroix: part 44: Days of Wine & Moses

Part 44:   Days of Wine & Moses


So BLOW ME!... So blow me over! You find me in Baden-Baden (so good they had to name it twice), German Spa & Casino mecca, immortalized by Dostoyevsky in "The Gambler"...and curious to walk in that genius's footsteps and experience those grandeoise, hallowed "temples to, er...Chance", I break out my dinner jacket and cleanest apparel, stash my guitar & wheelie-bag in some bushes, await an elegant "arriving" party of gambler-socialites-revellers, insinuate myself into the throng and pass on, IN, determined to score a free aperitiff & lose a good 10 euros!

Yup! I got the fever. I'm a player!

So BLOW ME over!... Where was I?....in the palatial casino, shimmy-shammying and I run into the Count, Stefan Van Der XXX (from Denmark) who in some long ago, grandiose Hotel on the banks of Loch Lomand (Scotland), we had met and played together as children, way back then...in the days of Moses...but HAD in fact kept in sporadic touch throughout our shared millenia.

Both now considerably older, he now the head of a sprawling family, I was invited to the nearby, lavish Hotel "Platinum" to sup & reminisce.

Count Stefan (I just call him Steve-0!) had followed in his dad's diplomatic footsteps (his "alter" had been the Dannish Ambassador to the U.K. back in the 1960's) and were both BE-mused to note that whilst HE had taken "the high road", I was - leastways presently - happy to navigate the alternative, a'la that bonnie Scottish tune: The Banks of Loch Lomand... (He was) Ever toothy, anaemic looking, a child blonde, his hair now raw silver and balding.
...I recall he had a beautiful younger sister; alas, she had passed away quite young.

(A moments silence)

We adjourn from the gaming throng to smoke panatellas and sup vino (Petrus something) and he has sway enough to secure us a private room in the hotel so as to carous the night away.

Back in the days of Moses my OWN parents were Scotland-mad and would drag me up there from England 3 or 4 times a year, B & B-ing it, sometimes lodging at reasonably extravagent places, as when I met the child-Count Steve-0! (and his sister) by the mystic and picture-esque Loch Lomand; a "Highland must-.see!"

I recall we spent a good 3 magical days together in that faraway time, playing pirates, Jacobites, hide & freak (always, with his sister). We were a Clan!
I had recently bought - in John O'Groats - a tartan-hilt "Scottish" dagger (a Skean Dhu); the clan's prized possession...
(Made in Sheffield)
But we got pretty good at throwning it around, as we were 3 (reasonably rich) lonely kids, left wild in the hotel grounds and surrounding woodlands.

When my parents decided to continue their Highland tour, Count Steve-O & sister remaining AT the Loch hotel for the summer season, it was a sad affair; I, waving from the back of my dad's sedan, Count Steve-O, dewey-eyed, his sister, outright bawling!
Everyone was torn apart...

....As now...the sun "comming up", lighting our all night conference-banquet room, ashtrays smouldering, the scent of fine claret, a hotel bee cracks a tall window using a hook on a pole, the windows, meters high....though Count Steve-O and my own responsibilities, separately calling, and AGAIN to say "goodbye"...and missing a MUCH LOVED sister, our eyes, bloodshot, yet steeled towards this new day.

Some Goodbyes kill you, and then kill you again: but ALL so softly.


c 2010 our man in europe/dave delacroix/Meerbusch-Lank/germany/march 21

OUR MAN in EUROPE: dave delacroix: part 43: Axel's Castle

Part 43: Axel's Castle

Atop "La Phad", an ancient corner bar built around the time of Columbus's 1st voyage to the New World, though last named (La Phad) by Napoleon's troops who winter quartered in these parts prior to marching all the way to Moscow, Axel resides and hosts a weekly "Salon" of Deutsche bohemians, some distinguished, some not. Some? Downright infamous!
That...would be me.

We sit at a round table arrayed with Sekt, "alt" beers, cheese ot tatare on brutchen, 80's Brit pop, interspersed with J.S.Bach (the Brandenburgs) pumping. The chatter is festive; 6 ladies, 3 guys...and a black cat in his antique, oak-timbered chambers.
A tad like partying in the Tower of London or some other history soaked hospice; I feel quite honored to be invited and...AM invited by old Roman Holiday friend, Gabi, with whose family I am enjoying visiting for 2 weeks, at this time on the cusp of Spring, 30 minutes West of Dusseldorf.

Axel, recently retired, by x by, is a dead ringer for Benjamin Franklin, an ex-world traveler, fluent in several languages...and like ALL great hosts has a talent for currying the most interesting conversation-anecdotes from his guests; their glasses (beer, wine or champas) he never allows to stand empty.

It's a travellers moment.

Actually!!! - It's Axel's castle!

And like the moral-philosophy from the novel of the same name: why LIVE if we have EVERYTHING!?
...We drink, love, eat, talk feverishly, embrace...for tomorrow, we may die!... And, subject to the effects of Axel's imported Dominican (dark) Rum...we just very well might!....:)

c 2011 March/ourmanineurope/davedelacroix

OUR MAN in EUROPE: part 42: Song of Bernadette

Part 42:   Song of Bernadette

Her song was...as above...medium height, brunette, and a wallet full of plastic, a fast suitcase, and festive fashion.
...I knew her from Friday til Sunday. Perfume, lipstick and cared for Nothing.

Hank Williams: "I´m back in the Saddle, again..."

The Hotel in which we "stayed" was sufficient, though modest (a farewell to arms). I believe she came from Koln, Hamburg, somewhere "up North" and came down to warmer pastures (Freiburg) like a Floridian "Snow-bird" to get over some emotional catastrophe, thereby, espy-ing ME jamming on the streets...and the pieces...like an ancient jigsaw puzzle...fell together.

(In the Hotel)  We "ordered out" continuously and - give Peace a Chance- never left our bed-hotel room; ostensibly, a "BED-IN"

Outside (winter in Germany) it rained incessantly...so as far as "jammin´ in the streets (for my daily bread), timing was everything.

Snippets of her Life story (Mrs Robinson´s younger sister) were forthcomming, approaching 40 yrs old, she had a BODY of work to divulge; stories, mes amis, never to follow.

We drank wine, ate, smoked
funny tobacco.

I think I smiled a löt whilst, all the time, tried to keep my mind - and everything else - ALERT. She was wanton, giving, but NO fool...
...But I liked her; sad sap, me.

She....alas...after 2 days of Bachannalia - headed back North...leaving me, mystified, with NO contact information, late on a Sunday afternoon; I, quitting the hotel room - paid up in full - till the following morning.

Hank Willams: "O for the love of Sunshine....!"



c 2011/dave thing/Europe/I´ll get back to ya....:)

OUR MAN in EUROPE: part 41: DARK of HEARTNESS (Part 1)

Part  41: Dark of Heartness  (part 1)


Once upon a time in the West

 ........

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: "Nice to see you, Dave..."

DD: "What´s with the upturned, bandaged thumb?"

Hunter: "...I was cooking a fish...but it was still alive."

DD: "The thumb?"

H: "The fish, idiot!"

DD: "Do you have a pond?"

H: "Pond?"

DD: "...For the fresh fish...?"

H: (coughing)...Nooo. It was a "Bhudistic"... fish."

DD: "Bhudistic fish?..."

H: "Yeah. They keep comming back!"

DD: "No shit!?"



martins room, augsburg, frickin deutscheland, our man, dave guy, lol...

OUR MAN in EUROPE: part 41: a short history of Rock & Roll

Part 41:   a short history of Rock & Roll

...What did Bob Dylan really think when he first heard (that disco-esque):

"Whad´a´ya gonna do...if you REALLY wanna dance...(with your back up ´gainst the wall)?`..."


c 2011, mar/davedelacroix/OLD SIMON bar/Freiburg/our man in europe

OUR MAN in EUROPE: part 40: the rules of engagement

Part 40: the rules of engagement

...just in case I croak on this trip; my tips for fellow Buskers/strasse musikers

!) Play NON busy periods, never lunch-rush hours.
2) Always sit, public above you
3) Dont make eye contact unless approached
4) Choose quiet (main street) spots with passing traffic; i.e. never by bus stops AND Cinema queues are over-rated
5) Cold weather always best. Competition stays home
6) NEVER hand over your guitar to anyone!
7) Always pocket big money/copper money-change OR non-cash gifts (fruit, food, etc)
8) Look clean, dont drink
9) If you attract a crowd, stop playing/pack it in/take a long Smoke break (stare em in the eyes)
10) keep an eye on your money/keep it close/dont expose more than 3 or 4 coins, look poor
11) Always DEMAND money from people who photo/film you
12) Never waste time "chatting" to folks UNLESS they donate major Ducats
13) Stop playing if a panhandler or scum-bag "hang-outer" is loitering.
14) Always BE alone. Friends with you dont help...and dont encourage "jam sessions" with other guitar folks. They probably suck or dont UNDERSTAND the Street
15) Xmas-New Year is ($) Prime Time.
16) Dont be territorial. It´s a big world
17) Always say: "Thank you"
18)Night time is MORE profitable...but more dangerous... drunks/thieves, etc
19) Dress warm/sit on carboard-newspapers
20) KEEP MUSIC SIMPLE
21) When you are DONE, tired out, too cold...always play a song or 2 for the Street: a "thank you"/kharma deal....do it.

c 2011, dave del, ouzr man in europe, nurnburg.

OUR MAN in EUROPE: part 39: Stalker

Part 39:   Stalker

His name was Artemis Blagovich-Smith. In your tepid life....you might have met him. A vagabond of the first order. Miscellenious wardrobe; part hippy, part military. Always has money. Never has Cash. A close friend of no-one; knows EVERYBODY.

Rumors abound, he once robbed the BANK OF AMERICA (computer fraud), killed a Man...or he is frequently reported "quite dead" (drunk?), no: but passed on.
Naturally, he always shows up...like a Frank Sinatra "Farewell" concert and draws the Glitteratti like the proverbial magnet, yet appears to shun it (the limelight) and be YOUR only best friend.

(You might have met him?)

He`s on Facebook, My Book, Your Book, Twitters like a maniac, Chinese "whassit?, Linked-in to your Pet Canary.

(...you might wanna monitor your Pet Canary`s E-mail...leastways, your Daughter`s, or check for missing change/credit cards, off the bedroom dresser....?...Did he crash on your couch once? Your car keys?... Missing Lexus?.... No matter.

And yet in this psycho-culture-demographic character...who - I feel - has actually been stalking ME (of all people) in my last months here in Europe, I dont fall under his spell, but...compared to the average "dick-head" who you "oft" encounter in cities like Denver, on streeets like East Colfax, and who affect you NOT! -Atemis Blagovich-Smith is a breath of fresh air...and his diatribe of dialogue and perverse observations are "to die for"...
...and for THIS....
                            he is blessed.

.....And "whom" to YOU - on & off", here in this blog-book... I will introduce...thru the social safety of cyber-space.

God forbid I give HIM your actual address...

By x by: What IS your address?

And the name of your daughters?

Atemis Blagovich-Smith.
(Watch out!)

It`s a Stalker`s World.



c. davedelacroix, The Magi revisired. Augsburg. 2011, our dude in Bayern.