OUR MAN in Belize, dave delacroix, No: 44: "A Highland Tale."

 Our Man in Belize, dave delacroix, No: 44, "A Highland Tale."

At the outset I must, as a provincial Police detective/Edinburgh Fraud Squad more attune to un-raveling CLERKS with feather & Pen, dropping a nought here, a Comma, someplace before a Yawl set sail 'a Tam-O-Shanta? But my Kilt, Sporan and Waistcoat were SEJOINED by Scottish Government and Holy KIRK to uncover the "Mystery of Tellanibroich" in the year of our lord....18.... It was a high wind to Jamaica OR a frigid gale to the Shetland Isles that left me on a funereal quay stone block; did I say WINDSWEPT? My pitiful SO-WESTER little protection; my testicles hit cryogeric-mode! And greeted by a Murderer, his VICTIM, and 200 Sheep, the only likelihood of truthful testament. TAXES U understand, by Law had failed to tithe & account!?

It must be noted there WERE some distracted Lobster-harvesting fishermen and  several English tourists and TWO GERMAN SPIES. The latter, of no interest to this my tale. The Sassenachs/English were quickly eradicated from my enquiries as their main presence in loc. was to excessively imbibe the local "Malt" and never send Postcards to their distant wives; angling for the Red Herring. As U can imagine this menagerie of diss-reptuable iconic suspects blurred-bleak the even bleaker fog and mist  that IS the CARDOGAN of the outer-Hebrides climate.

U need to KNOW that Hamish & Jock Mctavish, both greeting me on landing had yet not decided to kill one another. But BOTH had long deliberated the perfect murder. And HAS the Scottish Government backed by Holy KIRK legally ordained, somebody had to open their Sporan; neither welcoming this loss in Coin!... OCH! To cut a long tale by its hindees? Eventually, I summoned 2 Constables from the mainland. Twix ourselves we deduced the brothers, Hammish & Jock, one or tuther,  had initiated a Sheep-Stampede which either drove ONE brother over the craggies into the raging sea OR the plan backfired...sheep being what they are?...and the SHEEP revoked and did same to the un-intended! One lost at sea. The other died of shock incidentally. Sheep doing fine, last seen.

Now back in closet Edinburgh mongst Clerks, quills, legal shennanigans I ponder all this which I have recorded. And Bagpipes! Like destiny? The Pipes, the Pipes from the heavens to your heart... me-thinks are calling.

c.2021. dave delacroix."A Highland Tale."