Our Man in Europe/davedelacroix/ragazzimento No. 45: SISTA RAY
Sista Ray (HOWDY-DOODY-DANDY!) -blond, tall boned, a mouth to kill even the erection of Hercules...got the heck out of OKIE-CLAM-HOMA City, Oklahoma, USA and arrived in Italy (M.I.A. -Milan International Airport) with Beach Bags, Levis, IRON MAIDEN tee shirt, Cow-punk-straw Stetson ten gallon hat...and YELLED/twanged in the middle of the airport concourse:
"Y'ALL KNOW WHERE DAVE DELACROIX LIVES!? THE SONOFABITCH WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET ME!!!?" -adding: "GODDAMMIT!!!"
The ENTIRE airport - apparently - was momentarily terrified (and/or perplexed?); Italian "Homeland Security" instantly descended upon her which included (1) a man in BLACK Armani suit sporting Ray bans, (2) two non-descript dudes who looked like garage attendants in their "Sunday-best", and (3) one member of the CARABINERIA, dressed like NAPOLEON, peacock hat and all, which, as all fans of this Blog know, carry a GLOCK 9mm but are only allowed ONE lone bullet which they must keep adjacent to said pistolero!
Anyways; Sista Ray, duly detained for freaking out an ENTIRE AIRPORT (...from America, brandishing a Violin case, might be from Chicago; we're not sure?) got a good yakking to!
Fortunately, some Italian ARISTO was on hand to assist in "suspected blond-bombshell NUCLEAR threat". He spoke ALL 3 languages: English, Italian and "Y'all!".
Diplomacy ensued, officialdom feathers unruffled, Sista Ray's USA passport was grudgingly stamped, then she and the Italian Aristocrat promptly hopped into an awaiting limousine and THEN I got the phone call:
"Yahoo, Dave!?" -Sista Ray's unmistakable husk.
"Yes. This is YAHOO Dave speaking?.."
The rest is Rock & Roll History. Sista Ray, arriving 2 days later than planned, had "some hassles" at the airport, met (a) COUNT/owns some villas outside "some ville called Florence, we fell in love; ZAPPO! -I won't be arriving any time soon at the HOTEL DAVE (€35 per nite/big screen TV), so don't worry! Y'all have a good time now, ya hear!?"
Folks? Fans? I have just invested my last Euro in a bag of TORTILLA corn chips and concocted some super hot/molto picante SALSA "con" onions, garlic, hot chilli's, oregano, etc....
Not a lot of people, north of the TEX-MEX border have this talent.
Sista Ray? -you betcha!!!...:)
c 2013/ourmanineurope/davedelacroix/lord borgo/piacenza-italia: finger lickin' good!...:)
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