Our Man in Europe/dave delacroix/rockstar/Here comes Johnny Love Muscle! -part 20: "Post Office sketch..."
Scene: Italian Post office.
ME: "I want to pay my utility - gas/electric - bill?
CASHIER: "So give me the bill?"
ME: "I don't have one."
CASHIER: "You want to pay a bill that you don't have? Are you an idiot?"
ME: "Madame, I AM an idiot...but thinking of my immediate future, I figure I should pay my utility bill. It's Winter, after-all"
CASHIER: "Do you have any kind of "future" paper-work; a "future" bill?"
ME: "No Ma'am. Just MONEY:"
CASHIER: "Well, how much do you think you owe? I mean; have you left the lights on all month, the jacuzzi, bubbling; have - if you HAVE any children? - have they been splashing around in your customized-heated swimming pool...with rubber ducks and a pink - flotation - giraffe?"
ME: "Ma'am? I got nothing to do with giraffes."
CASHIER: "But you DO admit to:
1) Having a swimming pool?
2) A bubbling jacuzzi?
3) Children?
4) A pink flotation device that COULD pass as a giraffe?"
ME: "Ma'am? I got nothing to do with giraffes."
CASHIER: "Look!... Before I call my Supervisor..."
(to be continued)
Stock cubes: €o.35
Yoghurt: €0.25
Vino: €5.00
Latte: €2.00 (3 litres)
String beans: €1.50
Utility bill: €250.00
c 2012/davedelacroix/dec/piacenza/italy
This is the post office that left the door open on Sunday when they were closed, don't you love it
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