Our Man in Eureope: Part 52: "IL RENO!"

Part 52:   The RENO!


In my never ending search for the perfect "Bloody Mary".... Actually?... In my (European) never ending search for ANY bartending idiot who HAS TOMATO JUICE (they always have Vodka) ergo, I get my hangover fix!... my destiny prevails and leads me to the Ristorante Commercio in (yes!) Piacenza.

Piacenza (like the rest of Emilia-Romagna) is home to the finest Proscuito and a whole bunch of "other stuff" (I`m a stickler for details!) that`ll knock the socks off ANY Tahitian!!!... No problemo, Dude!

Anyways; Ristorante Commercio, via Colombo, Piacenza/Italy, and ON this quest for the bloody, Bloody Mary, I discover the "Sword in the Stone" (T.H.White) and draw it from the rock, effortlessly....and wave it about in the air (as boys will do)....courtesy, mind you, of a cool dude named RENO who runs the restaurant and an adjacent B & B where I and my (USA) visiting Accountessa sojourn.
(Sojourn? -heeeel! Why not?)

Me: "Bloody Mary."

Reno: "Que?"

Me: "Vodka-Tomato juice."

Reno: "No Tomato juice."

Me: "I`m going to kill myself!"

Reno: "Before lunch?"

Me: "Si!"

Reno: "Momento!"

...And promptly returns with that rarest of living jewels, the perfect take on a perfect idea....like Opera, spreading its Valkyric wings, soaring high, then alighting on an island called JAZZ!

(Spretzler water & Vodka.)

It`s Rossi-ish. Actually? Quite pink...with a knuckle or 2 of ice and a lemon/orange slice....SERVED (details! details!) in a Martini Soda glass of triangular design some idiot in the back office of a Milano AD Agency dreamt up before realizing that that particular business - like Hollywood - really did/does suck....and then quit the gig and fled to the forests to live in the nude!

Anyhow/anyways (?), receiving this Hemmingwayian epiphany (no relation to Epiphone guitars) I fell (off my chair) to my feet on the crowded ristorante`s cool marble floor... IN FORGIVENESS to "Our Lord" for this treat...whilst the - by now - lunch time sun, beaming thru lace curtains, positively creating a halo/aura around my (according to my Accountessa) beautiful, thick, wavy hair, BROUGHT ME, the waiters, the clientele, the clackety-clak ristorante kitchen, the traffic on the via Colombo outside, Piacenza town, the WHOLE of Emilia-Romagna, Milano, Italy, maybe the State of Texas too!!? -to a halt.

This....was BIG.

And so, my friends, I say (wiping my sweaty brow) let me introduce you to my new "leeetle friend": IL RENO:

1/2 Vodka
1/2 Spretzler
1 wedge of lemon/orange
2 Rocks.

And chill!...


c.2011. june 14/our man in europpe/dave delacroix/ piacenza/italia