D-D-DETECTIVE, "Tobasco, my lovely..."

Dave Delacroix/Menu a'la Carte/Menu for Murder...


"Tabasco, my lovely..."


...It was just a'wanna dem days. "D & D" (Private-Dick)  eyed the dead cilantro, ailing twist bottle of Tabasco...in his dying, grumblin'  fridge-thingy - if da MAYO don't go bad -the damn "EL REFRIGERATOR",  like a bad ol' wife, don't need replacing? So he bagged the pan of yesterdays Cowboy coffee (singing tra-la-la!) and launched it on the office Callo-Gaz. THEN! Sirens! GUN SHOTS! -down, outside on da strada on a luckless Los Angeles boulevard, christened "HOPE". At which point - universal wisdom? - When a gun battle erupts...NEVER stand by a window/fenestra!?
D & D (One eyed detective Agency) actually DID?

...Clearly; a FAILED bank job. Boy/girl team, both wearing McDonald's clown masks (Boy/girl? -one of dem had tits?), the boy: "Denis da Menace", according to his "Biblical" F.B.I. file, had ran out of Testaments. The Cops - in bags - plus ONE "smoothie", wearing a Fedora, but clearly not in charge/shooting at any thing in motion, including the No. 35 MALIBU bus, haphazardly NAILED Denis da Menace/ SWISS-CHEESE sure and true... But DENISE (da one with tits?) skipped and found her way into a nearby "brownstone", opted NOT to use the elevator, rapidly ascended a staircase, BASHED into "D & D" detective Agy, threw her AK-47 on the sad, welcome mat, fell to her knees, exclaiming, amidst stolen banknote confetti, and quite forgetting she was still wearing her Ronald McDonald clown mask: "D & D! My saviour! A'mah MISS-Understood!?..."

..."D & D" -with a window on the World/innocent bystanders SLAIN down there on HOPE street, coaxed her to the D & D "love-seat".
"Relax, Sweetie-pie." -he coo-ed. "Drink this?"
"What is it?"
"Cafe Mexicali!"
"Wicked!"
She gulped, then gagged, then sank to da floor.

D & D - who spoke BRAIL - indicated -thru the office window to the confused COPS below; he'd cooked their Bird.

After DENISE was suitably beaten to shit, then cuffed and parked in an Ambulance, D & D grew weary of the cops - in bags - slugging the Office's complimentary Jack Daniels, kicked em' out, surmising; yesterdays coffee with dead cilantro, Jack Daniels plus galoshes of Tabasco, 'Cafe Mexicali!' ...ain't no way to start your day. And, as the Ambulance - 'avec' Denise - siren-ed away: (A sigh:) "Farewell, my Sweet!", and  decided  a "J.D." was just what the Doctor ordered!  

Couevo-Rancheros, tamales, red beans and rice, later, with Sweet Louise at da BAD-TUXEDO dinner, over on Wilshire Blvd, would come later.

Tabasco, my Lovely?




c 2015/davedelecroix/il mano di scicilliano...:)